Kat's Scribbles

Tuesday, May 27, 2003

Books and otherworldly things. I've always been a voracious reader of books. According to my mom, I learned to read when I was three years old (so I'm estimating I was actually 4 years old --she tends to exaggerate). Ever since then, I've "devoured" all sorts of books --read enclyclopedias for fun, read books I didn't really understand, read age-appropriate books, you name it. By the time I hit fifth grade, I've read Jane Eyre (although at that age, I could only grasp certain themes --e.g., she was lonely, and that was about it), became an avid Stephen King fan, and out-grew Nancy Drew. When I came to the U.S. and started the 6th grade, I had to take these California-sanctioned tests for reading/math levels and I was told that I was at the reading level of a 12th-grader (math, however, is a different story). I also found out that I read pretty fast; I was a speed-reader if you will. The main reason I read books was because they transplanted me to another world that was different from my reality (this is also why I am a film-buff --but that is another story). It was a great way to escape. I remember when I was abour 7 years old, I vowed to write stories myself. I remember wanting to create worlds of my own that people can visit. To this day, that goal is still with me. It's probably the only constant goal I've carried around with me from childhood. You know when you're little and you tell your parents "I want to be an astronaut" or "I want to be a nurse" or whatnot? Well wanting to be a writer is the only thing that's stayed with me as I grew up. Each time I escape into a novel, it reminds me of what I truly want to do in life --write a novel of my own. Alas, wanting to write and actually writing are 2 different things.

I'm not good at a lot of things nor am I skillful like other folks (e.g., being good in sports; or being a math wiz, whatever). But I know I can write. I know I can write well. I've been told by my teacher and professors over the years that I can do this. I may be a bit rusty now (especially since entering the legal profession where creativity is not the norm), but my only claims to fame are that I've never gotten a grade lower than an A-on any paper I've ever turned in from the 6th grade and onwards and I got a perfect 5 on my AP English test. But you know what? I am also very lazy. And pessimistic. And scared. Yes I've whined about this whole writing thing to many people, but it's hard to sit down and put what you are thinking on paper. It's very hard to describe the little worlds you have created in your head and make it come to life for others the way that you envision it. (This is probably why most movies that are based on books fall short of the vision in your head or never quite meet your expectations.)

Right now, I'm stuck in a creative rut. Stuck in this world for now until I find "it" which will propel me into a writing frenzy. Until then, I still have other places to visit and new characters to meet.

POSTED BY KAT AT 5/27/2003 10:07:00 PM | 0 COMMENTS

Monday, May 26, 2003

I am sick. Allergy? Cold? I dunno...but my head's all stuffy. So I'm home doing chores, staying in bed, watching TV.

POSTED BY KAT AT 5/26/2003 04:35:00 PM | 0 COMMENTS

Thursday, May 22, 2003

I just figured out that I let things get to me too easily. (Yes, for all those who knew this all along, kudos to you then.) This is why I get easily stressed, angry, road-ragey, hurt, sad, irritated, what have you. Like today at work, this stupid beeyatch cut me off in our parking lot; I paused to let a car through and she sneaks over to the side. It took all willpower not to honk (heck, it could’ve been a co-worker that I liked), but then I did honk anyway (about 5 minutes later) when she pulled into a spot very abruptly without warning. Then I blew up at my secretary today. For no reason at all. She’s the sweetest lady on earth…very nice, to the point that many folks take advantage of her. But I was pissed because her niceness gets in the way of her work. We’re talking efficiency here. I asked her if she wanted anything because I was going to the cafeteria. She orders scrambled eggs and bacon which would require me waiting at the cafeteria for at least 10 minutes before they get made. So I’m like, “fine, let me call ahead so I can place the order” and she was like, “No, you want me to do it? Let me pick it for you then, I’ll just get it and I'll buy yours too.” This statement triggered some pent-up feelings about her…so I’m like “Jeez, why do have to make things so complicated? I asked you if you wanted anything because I was going there anyway. I’m not telling you to get it and I’m not asking you to buy me my breakfast.” We get into this whole spiel about her being “too nice.” In the end, I apologized for being so nasty. I was being mean. But I only get mad at her because I care about her. She does a million things for everyone else but herself, and I’m just upset that sometimes, she takes on too much, then pulls an “I’m a martyr” tirade…and so on and so on. *sigh*

Work’s been getting stressful. I have a ton of work to do on my desk. At the same time, I’m worried about finding a job come September. Thank goodness our summer law intern is coming in next Tuesday. I am soooo behind. And to top it all off, it’s stuff that I know has to be done, but I don’t want to do. I’m sure y’all get that feeling. I was very easily flustered today when I could’ve handled it better. Before, work issues never got the best of me, but now they seem to ruin the whole day….I’m sure this is just a phase though.

So from now, I’m going to try my best to just let things roll off my back and I won’t take it personally. So if there’s crazy things going on at work, I’ll deal with it but I won’t let it cloud the whole day….I refuse to be a stressed out laborer!

POSTED BY KAT AT 5/22/2003 05:09:00 PM | 0 COMMENTS

Monday, May 19, 2003

Bienvenido a Miami…Adios a Miami: The trip was altogether very fun and relaxing. Here’s a nutshell version of what we did:

Wednesday: Trish and I flew in and arrived at 9 pm. Girlie, Sol, and my friend Christina arrived earlier than us. Went back to the condo, ate dinner and went to sleep.

Thursday: Mad scramble to get to Key Largo where we booked a snorkeling trip. Got there in the nick of time (boat was leaving the dock at 9 am. We got there at 8:55 am.)! Saw lots of cool fishes, the Jesus Christ underwater statue, had a nice picnic lunch. Then that night, we walked around Lincoln Road --a big strip of shops and restaurants much like the Third Street Promenade in L.A. Ate fabulous food at Sushi Samba…yum!!!

Friday: lots of sunbathing, shopping, eating, and then dancing! We went to LEVEL nightclub in South Beach and had a fab time dancing non-stop! We got home at about 3 am.

Saturday: Woke up at 5:45 am to bring Sol to the airport; went back to sleep; did more sunbathing, shopping, and eating. In the afternoon, we went to the Bayside Marketplace in Downtown Miami, walked around, and shopped. Then we headed to the Aventura Mall for more shopping during the evening.

Sunday: Home sweet home! The hubs picked us and we went to my folks' house for some home-cooked dinner. On a bad note: My cell phone fell in the toilet right after I flushed it. Now I have to see if it’ll ever work again…if not, must buy new phone. Shiiite. But relaxed by watching the Simpsons and Malcolm in the Middle when I got home to New Jersey.

Monday: work…work…work…thank goodness I’m leaving early today for an interview. My computer was locked (because someone tried to get in and couldn’t log on) and they couldn’t assign me a new password until 10 am; I have a ton of stuff on my desk; everyone’s like “you’re always on vacation, you don’t ever do anything” –from people who constantly leave work early and barely do anything!!; and it’s just a big pain to come back after being away. Nevertheless, I did have fun!!

Viva la Mad Women (and my friend Christina who’s an honorary Mad Woman extraordinaire)!!

POSTED BY KAT AT 5/19/2003 11:21:00 AM | 0 COMMENTS

Wednesday, May 14, 2003

I’m at work, all packed, and ready to go to Miami. I didn’t bring that much –a bunch of tops, a pair of shorts, jeans, bathing suits…I just hope it’ll be nice and sunny out there! I’ve been hearing that Miami has been having bouts with isolated t-storms…but it should come and go and won’t stick around.

Tomorrow, we already have plans to go snorkeling in the morning. We have to be at our snorkeling boat by 8:30 am, so that means we gotta be out of the condo by 6:30 am! Girlie has graciously offered to drive us all in the morning while we take naps in the back seat. Oh crap! I just remembered that I forgot to bring some CDs…oh well. Radio it is for the road trip!

Getting antsy…our realtor stopped by last night to have us sign a disclosure form regarding lead-based paint. Right now, we’re working on getting a home loan/mortgage and I’m getting a bit giddy. Our closing is set for end of June, which is really not that far away. I have mixed feelings about it because I don’t want to get my hopes up in case something goes wrong. At the same time, I am looking forward to fixing up the house and moving in. I totally fancy the painting and decorating part of the house! However, I also feel like we’ll be signing our life away. I still consider myself a kid at heart and I feel like this house-thing will be a big hindrance in terms of finances. I’m sure it’ll all work out after we get used to the payments and all that jazz. I just feel so “adult”, yanno? I’m sure I won’t be after the fact…

Employment issues…so I’m still awaiting news from Legal Aid. I probably won’t hear anything for another 2 weeks or so. Shite. Well that’s the government for ya. In the meantime, I’m forcing myself to send out more resumes. I decided to just concentrate on finding work in the city. My work experience has been in the the city. Also, most of my friends & my family are there, and it’ll give me a chance to re-connect with them. I just feel out-of-the-loop here in Jersey. One problem I’ve run into with my clerkship is that NJ firms think of it as a plus, but NY firms are like “why did you decided to work in NJ” and totally discount the fact that’s it a judicial clerkship nonetheless. In the legal field, it’s an asset to have a judicial clerkship. However, in the city, it’s only good if it’s a federal clerkship or clerkship w/ a New York Court judge –which makes sense, obviously. But my point is, a judge is a judge! The NJ Superior Court is the same as the NY Supreme Court –so what’s the big deal? Here in NJ, I can use the clerkship to negotiate a better salary, but no so in NY. Dilemma, dilemma. At this point though, I’ll take whatever job I can get!

POSTED BY KAT AT 5/14/2003 11:52:00 AM | 0 COMMENTS

Sunday, May 11, 2003

Happy Mother's Day to my mom and all moms out there...We took my mom out to Benihana for lunch where we stuffed ourselves with food. For some reason, that always happens when we go there --even if I pace myself! Then we went for a quick visit to the Americana Manhasset Mall: an outdoor strip mall of high-end stores such as Barneys, Armani, Chanel, etc. No, I didn't get anything, though I asked my mom if she could buy me this cute pair of camel-colored Manolo Blahniks...*sigh* One day, I shall buy me a pair..one day!

Afterwards, the hubs and I went to MoMA to see the Picasso/Matisse exhibit with our friends Trish and Rol. It was extremely crowded and I had a hard time maneuvering around the paintings. Our tickets were for 3:30 pm and I was expecting a guided tour. It wasn't guided. Once you get in, you fend for yourself and try to view all the paintings and combat the crowd. The exhibit was fabulous despite the crowded atmosphere. I learned a lot about the two artists though I was glad to have some sort of background. (In high school, I had a really hip and wise art teacher who taught us a lot about artists and art movements. I miss her!) It was a great way to present Picasso and Matisse's art together.

Now I'm going to go sort out my clothes and see what I can pack for Miami!

POSTED BY KAT AT 5/11/2003 08:35:00 PM | 0 COMMENTS

Friday, May 9, 2003

So the house-thing is going well. Things are going according to plan. We just finished the home inspection part and there was nothing major or alarming. Now it's the mortgage phase. We'll see how it goes. I was reluctant to talk about it all because in the real estate biz, anything can happen. But whatever happens, happens for a reason. So below is a pic of our home-to-be! Very cute. I like that's its brick (I'm not into ranches or homes w/ all-siding) and it reminds me of my folks' home in the Q-boro. It's situated in a nice cul-de-sac, within walking distance from Starbucks and the GW Bridge (where I can catch a ride over to Manhattan). So it's pretty convenient. 3 bedrooms, dining room, living room, finished basement, nice-size yard. Hopefully, everything works out! Wish us luck!

POSTED BY KAT AT 5/09/2003 03:45:00 PM | 0 COMMENTS

Thursday, May 8, 2003

A lot of things annoy me. Here's a few:
1) When people tell me/remind me to do stuff that I already know or plan to do --E.g., don't forget to send me this; be sure to mail this, etc. Yes, I know people are just trying to be helpful, and granted, I do need reminders from time to time. But still, it's a bit annoying because I don't like repetition.

2) Cheerful people in the morning and cheerful people on Monday mornings asking what you did last weekend --Yes, I know they are just trying to be nice, but I'm not a morning person and I hate the whole chit-chat thing in morning because it's just so contrived. Tne you feel you have to ask about them and their morning too. Not that I'm not interested in your life, because I am, but please, at least let me have my coffee first! Alas, I know it's part of the daily work routine and I will never escape it.

3) People who are picky with their food. Yes, I know some folks can't help it. And no, this is not aimed at vegetarians, vegans, etc. This is for people who just don't want to venture out and refuse to eat anything they haven't eaten before; or for people who hate certain food but haven't even tried it. Or for people who think that fish served with the head (as opposed to a fillet) is "exotic". Please.

4) Slow-loading web-pages.

5) People who don't send proper thank you cards. Did you grow up without manners or what? No, I'm not talking about your daily gift-exchange (e.g., giving your friend a b-day gift or whatnot). This is about people who make the effort to do something nice for you like letting you stay at their house; people who send you a gift even though you are far away; people who took the time to do something for you. I admit, I'm guilty of this too. I've received presents from people and never formally thanked them. But for the most part, I do try to be polite and send a nice note in the mail.

Well, that's just some things.

POSTED BY KAT AT 5/08/2003 10:35:00 AM | 0 COMMENTS

Tuesday, May 6, 2003

My friend Sol said to me last night “you don’t go out much huh?” This is coming from a gal who goes out at least 3 times a week for salsa-dancing and all that jazz. I told her no, I don’t go out much at all. I took a slight offense. Why? Should I go out all the time?

As much as I’d like to go out more, I really only have fun if a bunch of my other friends are there, or if it’s someone’s party, or if it’s a bunch of us having dinner & drinks…that sort of thing. Yes I’d like to go dancing, have drinks, and stay out late, but I’m fine with doing that on the weekends only. Plus, I’m not single and I don’t have to go out a lot unlike some of my other friends who go out for a purpose (e.g., meeting someone new, or getting to know a new guy/gal, etc.).

This is not to say that just because I’m married doesn’t mean I’m precluded from going out. Nor does it mean I don’t have fun if I do stay home. All I’m saying is that just because I stay home more than I go out, doesn’t mean I don’t go out at all. I go out to dinner & explore new restaurants, go to movies (I’m a movie-buff), go shopping, and go see friends. It’s a fine balance.

POSTED BY KAT AT 5/06/2003 09:41:00 AM | 0 COMMENTS

Monday, May 5, 2003

Man, I feel like an adult. Mark & I went to our home inspection yesterday. Let me just say, I suddenly felt saddled with responsibilities. The inspector mentioned all these things like: "you should budget some money aside to fix this in a couple of years;" "make sure you get insurance for this;" "be sure to maintain this..."...Argh! This is why I prefer to rent forever.... I feel like we're in way over our heads with this house thing. As much as I like the idea of having a house, it really is a lot to think about. I'm scared! I feel pressured to get a really great-paying job now just to help out....

POSTED BY KAT AT 5/05/2003 10:46:00 AM | 0 COMMENTS

Friday, May 2, 2003

Happy 1-Year Anniversary to my friends Trish & Rol! This is a reminder about our own upcoming 2-Year Anniversary. The hubs and I are going to Miami for a weekend retreat. Yes, so I get to go to Miami twice. In any case, I just feel very blessed to have Mark in my life. He's very patient, supportive, tolerant of my crazy antics (like impulsive shopping, my obsession with purses, my appalling eating habits to name a few), he's very sweet, well-mannered, funny, intelligent, and he's just an all-around nice guy. He's my bestest friend ever! A lot of people ask how long we "went out" before getting engaged. Quite honestly, I'm not entirely sure though I am estimating about almost 2 years.

It's funny though because when I first met him, I thought he was pompous, arrogant, too self-assured, and a bit snobby. We just stayed friends at that point. But then one day, it sort of just happened that I fell for him. Weird. In any case, I knew he was "the one" after the third month of dating. I was never the type of girl who fantasized about my dream wedding, nor even thought about my wedding dress and all that fun stuff. Quite frankly, I wanted to shock my parents and just say "well I don't really want to get married." Granted, I always had a steady boyfriend in one way or the other (I was never really a "dater"), but I never closely looked at the idea of getting married at all. But after month 3 of my relationship with Mark, I suddenly thought about what it would be like to be with this bloke for life. And you know what, I liked the idea and looked forward to it. We just clicked. It was like I knew him forever. Always a good sign.

Getting married vs. being married. A lot of my friends also ask me about what it's like to be married. I always get this comment from my single friends: "you don't act like you're married." I think most people say that because their view of marriage or experience with marriage is based on their parents' own marriages or older people's marriages. Well, I'm much younger than my parents, and certainly not a parent yet. As such, we are not in that level yet of having multiple responsibilities of being a parent, juggling a job, etc. (This is not to say that I don't have job worries, etc...I'm just on a lower level than they are). So I act pretty much like I've been acting before I got married --I go out with my friends sans the hubs, I do what I like to do (my hobbies, etc.), and I find time to be me. The only thing that has changed really is that now, I have to consider Mark's schedule, try to be with him and his family more, worry more about finances and the like, and just simply put a different perspective on my life in conjunction to his and our family's life as a whole. It also helps that Mark and I get along really well. We hardly ever bicker or fight. This was true even before we got married. So I'm lucky that I still feel like we're in the "honeymoon phase" of our marriage. Like I said, I feel blessed.

POSTED BY KAT AT 5/02/2003 04:19:00 PM | 0 COMMENTS