Tuesday, May 27, 2003

Books and otherworldly things. I've always been a voracious reader of books. According to my mom, I learned to read when I was three years old (so I'm estimating I was actually 4 years old --she tends to exaggerate). Ever since then, I've "devoured" all sorts of books --read enclyclopedias for fun, read books I didn't really understand, read age-appropriate books, you name it. By the time I hit fifth grade, I've read Jane Eyre (although at that age, I could only grasp certain themes --e.g., she was lonely, and that was about it), became an avid Stephen King fan, and out-grew Nancy Drew. When I came to the U.S. and started the 6th grade, I had to take these California-sanctioned tests for reading/math levels and I was told that I was at the reading level of a 12th-grader (math, however, is a different story). I also found out that I read pretty fast; I was a speed-reader if you will. The main reason I read books was because they transplanted me to another world that was different from my reality (this is also why I am a film-buff --but that is another story). It was a great way to escape. I remember when I was abour 7 years old, I vowed to write stories myself. I remember wanting to create worlds of my own that people can visit. To this day, that goal is still with me. It's probably the only constant goal I've carried around with me from childhood. You know when you're little and you tell your parents "I want to be an astronaut" or "I want to be a nurse" or whatnot? Well wanting to be a writer is the only thing that's stayed with me as I grew up. Each time I escape into a novel, it reminds me of what I truly want to do in life --write a novel of my own. Alas, wanting to write and actually writing are 2 different things.

I'm not good at a lot of things nor am I skillful like other folks (e.g., being good in sports; or being a math wiz, whatever). But I know I can write. I know I can write well. I've been told by my teacher and professors over the years that I can do this. I may be a bit rusty now (especially since entering the legal profession where creativity is not the norm), but my only claims to fame are that I've never gotten a grade lower than an A-on any paper I've ever turned in from the 6th grade and onwards and I got a perfect 5 on my AP English test. But you know what? I am also very lazy. And pessimistic. And scared. Yes I've whined about this whole writing thing to many people, but it's hard to sit down and put what you are thinking on paper. It's very hard to describe the little worlds you have created in your head and make it come to life for others the way that you envision it. (This is probably why most movies that are based on books fall short of the vision in your head or never quite meet your expectations.)

Right now, I'm stuck in a creative rut. Stuck in this world for now until I find "it" which will propel me into a writing frenzy. Until then, I still have other places to visit and new characters to meet.
POSTED BY KAT AT 5/27/2003 10:07:00 PM |


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a wanna-be rockstar with mediocre guitar skills | mom to rockstar baby | guitarist in a band | 30 but not grown-up | this is all about my musings. music. motherhood. and mayhem.

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