Kat's Scribbles

Wednesday, June 30, 2004

Sugarwalls. Do you know what they are? I think we all know what's it's slang for ;). Aside from that, Sugarwalls is also the name of girl group that my cousin started. I am always in awe of my cousin Zooey. She's only a couple of years older than me and I've always looked up to her. She's the epitome of cool (and a total babe). She's always had a fabulous career (she's a publicist and producer for various artists and worked with the likes of Sting, Janet Jackson, Usher, Wynton Marsalis, etc...and she knows people like Madonna, Trudi Styler, etc.) and always has these cool projects on the side. I really don't know how she does it. She is busy all the time (which is why I hardly get to see her). Her new project is the Sugarwalls --they're kinda like a post-80's throwback girl group (think Lisa Lisa and the Cult Jam, Appollonia, etc.) and they're set to record. My cousin will be singing and playing the keytar (i don't need to explain what this is, right?)-- 2 things I didn't know she could do! But then again, I'm not surprised. Damn! When I grow up, I want to be just like her! Well I'm sorta following in her footsteps because...

I'm starting a band! So tomorrow evening will be the first rehearsal date for my band. There's four of us and we'll be jamming at Pearl Studios tomorrow. I am so excited! I haven't played in a band since I was a junior in high school! Damn, I really wish my guitar-playing skills were up there. But I am learning. I just hope it works out considering we haven't heard each other play yet! We don't have a name for a band as of now, but at least we're complete with 2 guitarists (including moi), a bassist, and a drummer! I have no idea how we'll sound like, but it'll be so kick-ass! I just know it!

Nerd factoid. So The Cure's 13th studio album came out yesterday! I ordered my copy from Tower Records because they were giving away free buttons along with it. So of course, I had to get them. They are so cute! Anyway, the album is very interesting. I've only played it in its entirety once so I can't give it a review just yet. But I know I already like a few songs (note: I dind't say 'love' just yet). It's a different sound because they actually worked with a producer for the first time (Ross Robinson, producer of nu-metal bands like Korn, Slipknot, etc). Nonetheless, it's pretty cool to actually have a new album from them! It's been 4 years since their last one!

POSTED BY KAT AT 6/30/2004 10:15:00 PM | 0 COMMENTS

Monday, June 28, 2004

I Heart Los Angeles. So I was in L.A. from June 24 to June 27 with my friend Girlie for a short holiday (we arrived midnight of June 23). It was great! It was actually relaxing with the right amount of hanging out, going out, shopping, eating, and some sightseeing (sort of). We stayed at my friend Karen's (and her husband Babs) house. (Actually, we kicked them out of their house while they crashed in her mom's house --which is in front of their house). I've been good friends with Karen since the 6th grade when I first came to the U.S. and we ended up in Mr. Hession's homeroom together in Virgil Junior High. So it was great to reminisce with her since she hasn't been to NYC since...? 2002? Anyway, I'm not about to do a blow-by-blow account of my L.A. trip, so here's some highlights:

1) cruising by Virgil Junior High and my old house on Hobart and 3rd St. with Karen --ah, the memories! I also passed my Pilgrim School (my high school). Still looks the same.
2) kicking it with Karen and Babs: we watched Karen's comedy routine (she tried stand-up) and laughed out loud. We also heard their story of their kayaking trip gone awry --that shit is funny! Made me realize how much I missed them!
3) going to old haunts like Melrose Avenue (not the same); 3rd St. Promenade (okay, so it wasn't an old haunt, but I've been there); the 3rd st. area; Silverlake area; and revisiting Universal CityWalk (almost the same!). I also checked out new spots like The Grove, Mor's, and 217 (see #6).
4) chilling at Santa Monica Beach and Hermosa Beach: the weather was not so great when we went to Santa Monica Beach, but we did have an interesting experience. Especially since we sat next to this guy:

Hermosa Beach was a lot prettier with great, sunny weather. And appropriately-clothed people.

5) going to the Rockwalk in front of Guitar Center on Sunset Blvd. and checking out The Cure's handprints!! Aw! Look, it's like my hand is touching Robert Smith's hand!

Incidentally, this sales guy in Guitar Center (where I used to go a lot back in high school) was trying to sell me this beautiful, used Gibson (dunno which model exactly) in a Red Sparkle design...it was $2K. I seriously thought about it for a good 10 minutes while playing it. I also scored some free Cure stickers from a shop in Melrose. That just about made the whole trip! (Yeah, it doesn't take much to make me happy!)
6) Seeing my old friend Steven from high school who I spent all of an hour with! I felt really bad leaving Miyagi's early (NOTE: don't go there!) since he drove more than an hour just to meet up with me, but Miyagi's was busted and Girlie and Christian wanted to go to a better place: 217 <-- hot spot! Try it. But Steven, it was so great to see you!! Thanks for driving out to see me! I'm so happy we still keep in touch!! It was nice to you too Brian!
7) Great eats! Like Goldilocks; Good-Ha!; Kowloon; The Stinking Rose; Morel's; Kabuki's; Pho La (the most kick-ass bowl of Vietnamese beef noodle soup I've ever had); some Mexican joint; and Cold Stone Creamery (okay, we have it here too, but they are few and far between).
8) Good shopping experience and I'm proud that I restrained myself!

Overall, L.A. was great though I couldn't help having memories of the ex (no stalking occured whatsoever I must say!). We did meet in junior high as well, and we did roam L.A. together, so of course I saw old places we've been to. So coming back to L.A. was a tad bittersweet.

Nevertheless, I had a fabulous time with great friends and made new memories. For more pics, go to Girlie's website. I will forever remember Karen's kayaking story told during dinner at the Stinking Rose. I almost peed my pants.

In Other News.

My Monday was great aside from a parking spot snafu this morning. I get to work this morning and pull up to my usual spot. (It's a paid parking spot that I rent on a monthly basis because my work does not have enough parking spaces for their employees. Yes, that's the government for you. It's bad enough that I earn little, but we also gotta pay for our own parking because I haven't been there long enough to deserve one!) So anyway, I pull up and lo and behold, some jerk-off took my spot! So I'm peeved and wondering where I should park. So I pull up next to it, furious. I'm taking someone else's spot now. So I write a note to tell the guy off. Except I have no pen. So I pull out an eyeliner...wrote with it but used it up; pulled out another eyeline and used it up; then finally my lipliner and used it up. All to write one note stating: People pay for their spots here and you can't just park here illegally! Move your car!! I put the note inside the car. Yes, INSIDE. Because whoever parked it left their car door unlocked and it's a brand-new BMW 325. I mean, what kind of an ass parks their car illegally in a spot in the middle of Jersey City and leaves it unlocked. Does he want it to be stolen?! My co-workers were like..."Uhm, you left the note inside the car? As in you burglarized it?" Hey it was unlocked! And I admit, I wasn't being rational at the time. I was peeved because I just wanted to park, dammit! I didn't get in trouble though *crosses fingers*. And my car wasn't keyed or scratched up when I got back there. Yay!

Also today, I caught some bug. Actually, my throat was sore as hell during the trip to L.A. I think I caught some bug during the flight going there. And now that I'm home, it's gotten worse. I've been sneezing like crazy (I have a pile of wet tissues next to me), throat still hurts, and my stomach is torturing me. I love traveling, but it can be taxing on your body. And I detest being cooped up in a plane. It's a 6+ hour flight going to L.A. and a 4+ hour going back to NYC. My legs are cramped, and it's freaking stuffy. I may go to the Philippines this Christmas and I can already picture the dreaded 18-hour flight home.

Lastly, I went to visit my friend Riss today to drop off some gifts for her baby girls. She has identical, twin baby girls who are almost a year old. They are SOOO CUUUTTEE!!! I want them! And I can't believe how great she looks! She looks like she never gave birth at all. I want to be a MILF just like her. =D Folks I know are having babies here and there. My parents and in-laws keep asking about it too. While I think this is none of their business, I am Filipino and thus, subject to relative's (and even people I don't know)scrutiny. You know the deal..."Ay, tumaba ka, ano?" while handing you a plate of food at the same time. Honestly, they have the bluntness of a rusty, corroded butcher knife. I've heard the "when are you having babies?" question so many times since the day I got married (though mind you, the idea of SEX was taboo up to the day before the wedding). Heck, my mom has even sent me articles about how women's fertility levels decline once they hit 30! So to answer everyone's question: the baby will be dropping sometime during the latter half of 2005. Yeah!

POSTED BY KAT AT 6/28/2004 09:17:00 PM | 0 COMMENTS

Tuesday, June 22, 2004

Why do you suddenly get massive amounts work when you’re ready to go on holiday? Mondays and Tuesdays are my busiest work days. Yesterday was crazy because we had about 23 cases on the calendar. Today was busy because we had 18 cases on this morning in front of 2 different judges. I also had a trial this afternoon with a somewhat wacky victim. I won, miraculously. I say that because the victim only called me this morning at 8:50 am to tell me she wanted to go to trial. Prior to today, she kept saying she wanted to dismiss the charges. I prepped her but she still forgot key things: like the day of the incident! It went by smoothly though. But I was in court for the whole day. I didn’t get to do half of what I wanted to have done today, like prep for grand jury tomorrow, or talk to my supervisor about this other case. And to top it all off, I have a case that is going to trial…the defendant refused to plead out. So it may potentially be my first jury trial! Ye gods…*panic* So I have to start prepping for that along with other cases that are languishing on my desk. Heck, I wasn’t this busy last week! Why today of all days? Oh right. That’s because I’m leaving for my holiday tomorrow and won’t actually have time to work on it.

Some random gripes/observations/blurbs:

1. I hate when people insist on wearing necklaces with turtlenecks! It’s a freaking turtleneck! It’s meant to cover your neck! That means you shouldn’t put your necklace over it or have it hanging in front like a piece of string!
2. I like Lindsay Lohan, but please girl, be a little modest. You’re not all that. Fame is fleeting.
3. I have to pack tonight! Packing and unpacking is a pain in the arse.
4. I detest this girl in my gym who thinks she’s too good to be wearing a sports bra. She only wears those tank tops with the built-in shelf bra. That is fine in and of itself –if you have small boobs like Gwyneth Paltrow (or even B’s)! Not if you got C honkers and taking Boot Camp class and threatening to spill over.
5. I miss high school and college!
6. I promised myself that I would lose 5 pounds and get more toned for my birthday. So I got a little more than 2 weeks.
7. I’m not going to celebrate my birthday this year with another shindig. I’m tired of doing all the planning for my birthday year after year (not that my parties before were anything elaborate; it's just that I was always the one who organized it myself). For this year, I want something quiet and peaceful. Probably dinner with the hubs. At the most, get a group of folks for drinks at Bob’s or Goodworld.
8. I have to start training for the Avon Walk-A-Thon. It’s on October 2 and 3 and I have yet to walk over 4 miles! And speaking of which, I have to launch another donation-solicitation campaign. If you’re interested in donating, by all means, DO SO! Click on this!
9. Saw Dodgeball last night with the hubs! Very entertaining! A lot of funny moments!
10. Okay, I still gotta pack.... Ta!

POSTED BY KAT AT 6/22/2004 09:11:00 PM | 0 COMMENTS

Friday, June 18, 2004

The Philippines According to Blogs. I check out the Sassy Lawyer's site on a regular basis. Unlike my blog (which is about nothing in particular, just random shit I feel like talking about) Sassy Lawyer is one of those more "serious" blogs that is actually devoted to a particular topic --in this case: Filipino culture and politics, and observations thereof. Sassy Lawyer decided to create a new blog that highlighted blogs of other Filipinos (or people writing about anything related to the Philippines/Filipinos). It's dubbed: The Philippines According to Blogs. I didn't know that blogging was that popular in the Philippines! So it was cool to read other blogs and get the different slices of life of people who live back home (or elsewhere in the world). There's a few that's written in Tagalog. While I'm fluent and all, it's really hard for me to actually read it. I have to mouth out the words and sorta read out loud to get it to mean something to me. It's a bit frustrating because I'm a very fast reader and like devouring reading material; for me, reading Tagalog is like going 5 mph on a 50 mph-zone. I just gotta get used to it.

Summer in the City. Just thought I'd write a quick blurb to give a shout-out to NYC. I dig NYC in the summertime. Even though it's scorching hot, I still like walking around and window-shopping as much as possible. Especially with a frappuccino or ice cream cone in hand. I like people-watching in the summertime --the guys look fly in their summer wear, and the girls are like real-life fashion models with their tiny, cute skirts and tops. Very colorful. Also in the summertime, you get to take advantage of NYC's offerings like reading a book in Central Park, having lunch al fresco in Soho, having drinks in a new lounge (or favorite bar), or like I said before, window-shopping!

Work Tales. Last night, a bunch of my co-workers and I went out for drinks to celebrate a co-worker's birthday. Prosecutors-Gone-Wild! was the theme of the night. But really, it was all talk and no action. My office is pretty close-knit, especially with the younger folks. So us new-hires have heard their stories of drinking-parties-past and how wild they got. And I mean wild. We're talking peeing in public in subway stations; throwing up and getting kicked out of clubs; ladies grabbing each other's boobs, etc. Not the most appealing thing, but very entertaining when you hear the stories being told. So anyway, we went out last night and I thought it would be one of those nights that would be talked about for years to come. We went to the Blind Tiger Ale House as our first stop. Let me just say again: All talk no action. I drank alright, (but not that much because I knew I had to drive), but I was home by 11:30 pm! More like Prosecutors-Gone-Mild. We had a brilliant time though! Great company, coonversation, jokes, lots of yelling and screaming. But nothing scandalous occured. I guess we'll save our energy for the 'Annual Prosecutors Convention' that will be held in Atlantic City this coming September. Everyone has told us about that. It's like Spring Break supposedly.

Miraculous Recovery. Okay, so I have this case where I indicted a guy back in January 2004. There's a warrant for his arrest from a judge because the defendant was a no-show for his arraignment, PLUS another warrant for the original complaint. This past Wednesday, I get a letter from some rehab center asking that we rescind his warrants because this guy is now in a vegetative state because of a brain injury he suffered. The letter stated he can't really come to court because of his medical condition, and that he has been in their care since August 2003. They said he can't move, eat, shit, bathe, etc. without someone helping him. So I ask my supervisor what he thought about it. We decided to wait it out to see if he'll be discharged at some point. This morning, however, I get a phone call from the rehab center saying that "oh, the guy is a little mobile and doing well. We thought he'd benefit from moving around so we placed him in a wheelchair. Well last night, he sort of wheeled himself out of the facility and escaped. We called the police and requested for a search. But don't worry, we found him this morning. Now he's on watch 24/7" Hm...talk about a miraculous recovery, right?

POSTED BY KAT AT 6/18/2004 10:03:00 PM | 0 COMMENTS

Monday, June 14, 2004

CONGRATULATIONS to my brother Mikey who graduated from middle school this past June 11! We went to his ceremony and had a nice (and h-u-g-e) meal afterwards. I can't believe he's going to be a first-year in high school this coming September. Damn. How time flies.

Weekend Update

Aside from moping, I went to Babies-R-Us this past Saturday for the first time in my life. I went there to buy some gifts for my friend who's due to give birth to a baby girl next month. Some observations/thoughts:

1) Never go there on a Saturday: there's just way too many people walking around. I don't know what the hell I was expecting, but something about being there was a bit disconcerting for me. Depressing even. I felt like Christopher from The Sopranos in the episode where Adrianna gets killed. You know, when he's at the gas station contemplating whether or not he takes up Ade's offer and he sees this family get into a car. He sees the dad looking despondent; the mom harried and haggard; and the kids sorta toiling aimlessly as they're off on some family road trip. Hm...now what does that say about me? It's not that I think anything wrong about starting/having a family or nor do I look down upon it in anyway (quite the opposite!). I'm just saying that's how I felt at that particular time on that particular day.

2) Why does blue always have to equal "boy" and why does pink always have to equal "girl"? I'm not the world's biggest pink fan (though I'm on a hot pink phase at the moment); and I don't plan on dressing my baby girl in pink all the time (assuming I have a daughter). I like blue a lot more than pink. But it seemed that a majority of all the blue clothes in there had "little boy"; "daddy's boy"; "big boy" or something to that effect printed on them. Likewise, a majority of the pink items had to have "little girl" (etc.) printed on them. What gives?! Talk about gender-roles stereotypes. Can't I just buy a blue onesie in peace?

3) Baby clothes are so freaking cute! I got the CUTEST onesie with Classic Pooh prints all over them and matching booties! I had all intentions of giving it to my friend, but I loved it so much that I'm keeping it! So it's now in my closet for my baby to use in the future. The hubs was like "are you serious? you're keeping it?" Me: "Well it won't be around next year or the year after that, right?" Him: "They'll always have the Pooh stuff." Me: "You don't know that. They're not going to have it. I'm keeping it."

4) Aight, these things don't come cheap. Can you say registry?

Well that's that. The only other thing I did this past weekend was a get a new tattoo. Well, 2 new ones actually (but of the same design). I've been meaning to get a tattoo on my foot for the past year, and I actually got it done yesterday. The other one is on my wrist. I was worried that the foot tat would hurt like a beeyatch since it's a bony area. It was fine. The real killer was the wrist. Bloody fucking-A. And the wrist one is a tiny design at that! Here's a not-so-clear pic:

POSTED BY KAT AT 6/14/2004 09:51:00 PM | 0 COMMENTS

Sunday, June 13, 2004

And Life Goes On...

Is it possible to mourn a break-up 9 years after it happened? I didn't think so, but the sadness has finally caught up to me. I didn't let it hit me back when it happened --why should I, it was my decision? I was the one who let go and wanted something more. So at the time, I moved on without looking back... I went on with my life erasing him from my memory with rabid fervor. Now only years later did I decide to re-trace my steps. I was the one who initiated contact after almost 8 years of no contact and was met with a door slamed in my face. Everyone is like "Why do you even care?!" I've analyzed my actions and reactions over the past month and the only thing I can say is that I care because I just do. I didn't expect to give a shit, but I guess I cared about him all these years after all. It's weird because when I broke up with him, it was literally "outta sight, outta mind." That was in early 1996. So between then and a month ago: I barely thought about him. Sure, he's called to say "hi" here and there. I've sent him a card here and there. While we didn't talk, I thought we had an understanding that we were okay with each other without having to keep in touch. And I've kept in touch with his sister who is my friend (independent of him). In fact, I've hardly asked his sister about him. Probably once in a blue moon did I ask about him. The most recent time was this past month to ask him to see a concert with me. (See previous blogs for the shit that went down regarding that!) I thought I'd let it go without speaking to him and tried not to dwell about it. But I was really disappointed with this new "break-up" that he initiated this time around. I didn't like the way I was told to "fuck off" and so I fumed for days after. I couldn't let it go, so then I did the inevitable: I made a call. I wanted to say "I respect your decision and I just wanted to say goodbye to you peacefully." Well, let's just say I got my just desserts. I should've left well enough alone and realized that there is no reasoning with people who choose to cut you off from their plane of existence. Of course I was sad, but more mad since I wasn't allowed to even talk. But now I realize that it is finally over for good. There was no way to do it peacefully. There is no "staying friends". No talk of being acquaintances. Nothing. And that is that. I will move on again. I wish him well for all eternity though. I always will. He deserves to be happy. I'm glad we both are happy --in our separate places in life. So goodbye forever.

Disintegration

i never said i would stay to the end i knew i
would leave you with babies and everything
screaming like this in the hole of sincerity
screaming me over and over and over i leave
you with photographs pictures of trickery
stains on the carpet and stains on the memory
songs about
happiness murmured in dreams when we both
of us knew how the end always is...
how the end always is...

-copyright 1989 Fiction Songs
-words by Robert Smith; from The Cure album Disintegration

POSTED BY KAT AT 6/13/2004 03:35:00 PM | 0 COMMENTS

Sunday, June 6, 2004

HARRY POTTER ROCKS! Saw HP3: The Prisoner of Azkaban last night (along with a gaggle of folks, kids, and their mothers and grandmamas). Prisoner of Azkaban is my favorite of the series (thus far), and I was excited to learn that Alfonso Cuaron was going to direct it! He did Y Tu Mama Tambien, which I dug, so I knew this HP movie would be different from the other two. First off, the kids' acting actually improved! So kudos to them! I read somewhere that Cuaron pushed the kids to their limits and made them watch "serious" films for tips on how to convey their emotions and did take after take. So the kids have a lot more dialogue (but not so for Mr. Ron Weasley) and is more character-focused. And this time around, the movie is a lot darker as compared to the others. You can see it in the cinematography and set design (not so colorful anymore, etc). So gone is the whimsical, child-ish quality found in the other 2 flicks. This is definitely a more enjoyable film for the "older" Potter fans like myself. Some highlights: Emma Thompson's portrayal of Prof. Trelawney! The Marauder's Map (though it's origin wasn't explained)! And the cool hippogriff (spelling?). Some drawbacks: story was streamlined (but that is to be expected); not enough Gary Oldman screentime!; no more Oliver Wood (he was a hottie); and not enough Ron Weasley moments. But bottom line is: Great movie! 2 thumbs up!

In other news...40th U.S. President Ronald Reagan passed away yesterday. I was watching some of the features on him and it's pretty sad that he didn't get to enjoy the last years of his life. Alzheimer's is a terrible disease and I can just imagine him bed-ridden, without any concrete memories, and not being able to do a thing about it. I admire Mrs. Reagan for standing by him all this time --it's bloody sad to watch your loved one like that and not be able to communicate with him or have a meaningful relationship with him anymore. It's a huge burden. In any case, he lived a great life full of many experiences. As for his presidency, I admit I don't know much about the impact of his contributions, but I do know that he genuinely cared about this country. My condolences.

Miscellaneous...
1) I'm really digging craigslist.com at the moment. I don't know why I find it fascinating but I find myself going through the various postings every few days or so. Lately, I've been looking at the "musicians" section in hopes that I can form a band with fellow Cure-lovers and start rocking. I'd be happy with a band that plays gigs every so often at CBGB's or ACME Underground and attracts fans through word-of-mouth. It's weird because at the same time, I'm afraid of performing on stage yet here I am wanting to be a semi rock-star. Ha.

2) Okay, so I'm a dreamer. I want to be a million things in life and I still feel like a kid most of the time. "When I grow up, I want to be..." that is my working motto. Of course I know most of my "ambitions" will never see the light of day (I'm not that dedicated to some of them; it's more like "It would be nice to be a "). I wonder when I'll stop thinking of what I could be. I know people can do different things at the same time, but let's face it --people are limited by time, financial constraints, familial responsibilities, etc. Hm...I don't really know where I'm going with this point...it's just me thinking out loud.

3) I'm going back to Cali, Cali, Cali, I'm going back to Cali... the end of this month. I haven't been to Los Angeles since year 2001 I think? Not sure. The times I have been back are for quick trips such as a wedding, or a stopover. When I left L.A. in 1995, I sort of left it for good. I lived there from May 1988 to June 1995. That's a fairly long time. My parents decided to move to NYC in 1993 so they did and I lived in L.A. by myself (with friends) to finish high school. My parents only let me do that because I had things going for myself in high school that would look good to colleges, so they allowed me to stay there as long as I came to the East Coast after graduating. So this is how I ended up here. I don't remember much about the geography of Los Angeles. I didn't get to drive when I was there, nor was I old enough to hit the club scene or anything. All the memories I have of Los Angeles are about school, my friends, Melrose Avenue, assimilating to the U.S. (the first couple of years was shite), and my first love. As of now, I have no ties to Cali aside from one friend who lives there and random high school acquaintances (including my high school English teacher). When I go there, I plan on revisiting old haunts and taking caring of some business. I'm there to close up shop. We'll see.

POSTED BY KAT AT 6/06/2004 01:05:00 PM | 0 COMMENTS

Wednesday, June 2, 2004

Happy Anniversary to Us!

The hubs and I celebrated our 3-year wedding anniversary yesterday. We went to the River Café in Brooklyn, right at the foot of the Brooklyn Bridge. Our drive there was pretty miserable considering it was pouring and very congested (it normally isn’t that crazy at 6 pm). But as we neared Brooklyn, the sun came out and it stopped raining. I was worried we would have a horrible view when we got the place, but the evening turned out fabulously.

If you haven’t been there before, the River Café is an intimate, romantic-type spot that is famous for its view of the Brooklyn Bridge and the city in general. The restaurant is actually a boat that is permanently grounded, and it’s tucked away at the bottom of the bridge. The place is usually filled with fresh flowers and the surrounding area is pretty lush with lots of greenery. It’s a great place to have a small wedding (like less than 50 guests). We got there right on time at 7:30 pm and left at about 10:30 pm or so. We had an excellent meal of shrimps, foie gras, halibut, wild King Salmon, and amazing desserts. It was a very sweet evening with just the two of us. We took pictures around the area (which I’ll post up shortly) to “capture” the moment, of course. Cheers to us!

Here's a pic:

POSTED BY KAT AT 6/02/2004 11:21:00 AM | 0 COMMENTS