Before I go and whine, let me say that I recognize that I have a great life. I have an amazing husband, a beautiful baby boy that I adore, a neat starter home, a good career with flexible hours, generous parents, wonderful friends, and I have my health and happiness. Yadda, yadda, yadda.
Now on with the whining. I can't help but make comments like:
"I want a bigger house. Can we move? Can we renovate? Now?"
"She's such a lucky bitch. People always buy shit for her and she doesn't have to pay for anything."
"I need a higher paying job. My friends make more money than me."
"I'm so jealous she went to Greece! I'd love to go to Greece!"
We all have our 'woe-is-me' days I suppose. Problems are relative and even people like Bill Gates can complain, right? So like I said, while I know I'm blessed (and I don't even think I need to justify this), I still express discontent. And while I'm genuinely happy when good things happen to my friends and family, a part of me also gets all jealous from time to time. You know what I'm saying?
Like when I heard about my friend Riss going to Australia and joining my friend Girlie there on holiday. My first thought was "Damn! I wish I could afford a trip to Australia!" Yes I should be happy for her and I am, but hey, I'm selfish as well. Although in reality I don't really have the liberty (or the desire) to leave rockstar baby behind even if I did have the means.
Or when my friend Alina told me she was moving to Los Angeles. For some insane reason, I felt jealous that she was starting this new adventure. I immediately told the hubs "we should move to L.A!" despite the fact that a) I did already live there and b) I have no reason to move there at this time.
So I've come to the realization that I'm a player-hater. Heck, I don't like this trait of mine. Everyday I try to be a better person and I try not to compare my life with others. But this weird streak appears on occasion and I become "Snarky Kat." Ugh. Is this normal?
Am I the only one who goes through this?
(Angelic people need not reply)
Labels: musings/personal stories