Sunday, November 19, 2006

Confessions of a Bad Mom

It's official: I am the worst mom ever. Rockstar baby fell off his crib this morning and it's all my fault! For the past week, the hubs and I knew that he could already hoist himself up and hang on to his crib railing. We were already planning to lower his crib matress this weekend. This morning though, I placed him in his crib so I could get a few more minutes of sleep. Me, selfish mom, put *my* needs first. I got home late last night (bad mom was out gallivanting and didn't get home until 2 am), and then rockstar baby woke up around 3:45 am (which is not the norm). I had to give him a bottle to put him back to sleep. And then this morning, he woke up for the day at his usual wake-up time of 7 am. Still groggy, I had to wash his bottles and feed him. But afterwards, I wanted to snooze a little more, so instead of taking care of him like a good mom should, I put him back in his crib knowing full well that it was dangerous to leave him there!

Lo and behold. He fell. I heard a big, fat THUD and my heart sank. The inevitable happened. I rushed into his room and found him on the floor, on his back. He cried for about a minute and then was back to normal. But I felt so awful that I neglected him. Still feel awful. I called everyone I could think of: his doctor, my co-worker (who is a mom as well), my uncle (who is an othropedic surgeon), and my friend (whose husband is a resident). Then I brought him to a doctor who checked him over (thank God for Sunday hours)! Rockstar baby isn't the first baby to fall out his crib (or couch, or bed, or any surface a few feet off the ground for that matter) and pediatricians see these things all the time. But that doesn't make it any less painful for the parent. And I know this won't be the last of things that will break my heart.

Bottom line: rockstar baby should be fine. Should be. But that doesn't mean I'm not a bad mom. If I had just hauled my ass outta bed this morning, it would have never happened. My poor, poor, little guy! As a parent, you hope and pray that nothing bad ever happens to your children --but here I am, being the cause of my baby's pain. Okay, maybe I'm being a bit melodramatic, but I feel really bad. I'm so sorry my little bunny.

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POSTED BY KAT AT 11/19/2006 08:59:00 PM |


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a wanna-be rockstar with mediocre guitar skills | mom to rockstar baby | guitarist in a band | 30 but not grown-up | this is all about my musings. music. motherhood. and mayhem.

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