People can really surprise you. For a few months now, my mom and friends (and I) have been planning a baby-on-the-way party/shower scheduled next weekend. We sent out save-the-dates and sent out the invitations early so that people could plan ahead (especially since it was right after the holiday season). Our invite list was made up of people we are generally close to and have been close to for many years. These are people who came to our wedding, new friends we’ve made over the years, and our relatives.
Of course, we didn’t expect people who live far away to actually come. I certainly wasn’t expecting my friends to fly in from Seattle or California! However, we did expect our close friends who live in the tri-state area to be able to make it with no problems –especially since we gave notice as early as November! Unfortunately, some of our close friends are not coming. Yes, they do have valid and understandable reasons for not going (though others just said they couldn't make it or weren't sure). It’s still disappointing, nonetheless, to know they won't be there. I had thought that this party was important to them as it was to me. Of course, I should’ve known better. Things like birthday parties, weddings, showers, baptisms, etc., are generally only important to the people immediately involved (e.g., the couple, the celebrant, what-have-you).
I had already anticipated other folks to not be able to make it, but did not expect these people to not attend. Normally, I don’t mind if people can’t make it and I don’t sweat it. However, this is not just poker night or a dinner party I’m throwing. This event is important to us; it’s not everyday that we ask people to come to a party and send them an invitation 2 months in advance! I genuinely wanted to gather all our friends to this party to celebrate our little bunny’s arrival. I know in the long run, it won’t matter who was there or not because they’re still be in our lives, regardless. It’s just a little disappointing even though I know I shouldn't take it personally.
In my opinion, people decline invitations based on only 2 basic reasons: a) they don’t want to go; or b) unavoidable conflict or illness (that is, they will be out-of-town, have another event that day, or are sick). If I want to be somewhere for someone, I plan around it. If I know in advance that May 4th is someone’s birthday party and I want to go, then I’ll make sure I am free that day (barring unavoidable conflict). Likewise, if I know it’s someone’s birthday bash on May 4th and I don’t really feel like going (or am not that close to that person), then I will I say I won’t be able to make it, simple as that. (And I decline in advance, not after I send out an e-mail or something reminding people to reply). There’s nothing wrong with not attending, and everyone (including myself) does it. It’s a part of life. Period.
Hm…and while I’m ranting…
Can I just add that it annoys me when people do not RSVP? Would it kill you to reply “yes” or “no” by the date specified? Why is it that I find myself calling/e-mailing people to get an answer? The hubs says to just assume they are not going if they don’t reply, but I know some people are just lazy when it comes to my invitations (because I see them reply with a quickness to other peoples' invites). C’mon folks! We are grown-ass people. It only takes a minute to shoot an e-mail and reply. But I will be more like the hubs from now on and be blasé about it. Really. I will take his advice from now on and just assume people are not going if they don’t reply. Less hassle that way. Okay…moving on to a more positive note...
It also surprises me that people we are not really close to can sometimes be the most thoughtful and generous. For example, we’ve already received a shower gift from a friend I have back in high school that I keep in touch with semi-occasionally over the years. We also received gifts from a friend I only see once in a while, as well as from my brother’s former girlfriend! The hubs’ aunt also sent us a generous gift: an infant car seat (one of 2 we registered for, the other being an "infant-to-toddler" convertible carseat)! We had not expected anyone (other than our parents) to buy us any of the “big ticket items” but it was delivered to our doorstep a few days ago! Talk about thoughtfulness and generosity! We feel so loved! We really appreciate it since getting baby necessities (i.e., crib, car seat, stroller, etc.) does add up.
In other words, people can surprise you and drive you bananas. I know it seems I am making a big deal about the whole party thing, but I'm just venting. Like the song goes... It's my party and I'll cry if I want to! Hahaha... Well bottom is that I still treasure these friendships and I wholly accept them. After all, in the long run, it's a just a party really.