My Life as a…. Rock Star Mom – Part I

So here’s my big news of the week: I’m going to be a mom! How crazy is that?! It’s still so brand-new to me that I still have a hard time believing it!

But First, Some Background….

(Warning: there may be a bit of TMI here...too much information!)

The hubs and I have never really formally discussed the whole “kids” thing. We never really sat down and asked each other if we wanted kids in our lives. Both of us are the eldest kids in our family. We both just assumed that we would have them at some point in time. I would sometimes ask him “do you want kids? Do you want to be a dad?” And he’d just shrug, say “sure why not? Do you?” I’d shrug, say “sure, maybe, ” and that was that. The most detailed we’ve ever come to in terms of the “kids talk” is that I knew I’d like to pop one out by the time I was 30 years old (theoretically), and that I think it would be too old to have one past 33.* The hubs also said that after the age of 32/33, he thinks he’d be too old to be a dad. So the concrete thing we had to go on was that we both didn’t want to have kids after a certain age. He didn’t want to be an old dad, and I didn’t want to be an old mom. So that was that. Both of us would be fine if we had kids or if we didn’t have kids. Both of us would be happy with our life either way.

(*Sidenote: It's not that I think 33 yrs old is an 'old' age. It's more like, I'd rather have an early start and think about how old I would be once the kid hits college-age. The hubs and I don't want to be 45+ and the kid not even be 10 yrs old yet. We'd like to retire early and still have enough energy to enjoy it.)

Then around March 2005, I announced to the hubs “Okay, I think we should start trying or whatever.” I warned him that I would stop taking the pill next month. The hubs just went along. He’s an easy-going guy. All he said was, “wow…seems kind of sudden that you decided this.” But that was that.

I started to read up on fertility cycles, ovulation, and other lovely, scientific stuff. This was mostly done on the internet and with a helpful chart I found in Glamour magazine of all places. So I checked out my ovulation cycle, but didn’t really chart it out or anything. Quite frankly, it was confusing shit. It was more like “I think I’m ovulating…”

In April, I bought a few pregnancy tests on-line. I bought them wholesale and they were these “dip-in-your-pee” sticks. I also bought a few ovulation predictor sticks which I never did end up using. Every few week or so, I’d take a test just to see. Well, truth be told, I took the tests usually prior to going out with friends to see whether or not I should be drinking. Hehehehe.

May: nothing happened. I took a test and was disappointed that it wasn’t positive. I told the hubs “aw…I’m not pregnant.” He said, “well what do you expect? We’ve only done it like 4 times!” hahahah…. Okay, he didn’t really say that. TMI! He said “well we just started.” Okay, he really did say that former…

The Day We Found Out

On June 28^th, I took a pregnancy test in the morning. This time, I didn’t use those cheap-o “dip-in-your-pee” sticks. I took a “pee-on-a-stick” test. Lo and behold, it came out positive! 2 Purple lines!! I looked at it in disbelief. I took it primarily because I was having such painful cramps and kept waiting for my period (which was then about 2 days late). I showed it to the hubs who peered at it and said, “okay.” I was smiling, he was smiling, but neither one of us was really jumping for joy. We were both more in shock as opposed to anything else. And the hubs wasn’t inclined to get all emotional without further scientific proof. Talk about anti-climactic.

I called my doctor, told her the test was positive, but that I was having crazy cramps. I hardly ever have cramps. I’ve always been a 3-day period kind of girl. I was having these since Saturday evening (June 25). She saw me the very next day. She confirmed that yes, it was positive, and stated “Wow! What did you do?” I had just seen her in early April and told her that I was ready to start trying; then here I was, back at her office in June with a positive test! She then took a blood test to rule out any abnormalities (read: ectopic pregnancy) since I was having cramps and told me to come back on Friday. So for the next 36 hours, I was basically nibbling on my nails, worried about the outcome. I was scared to death that it would turn out to be ectopic especially since one of the symptoms was cramping. So it was really hard to be happy that I was pregnant during this entire week.

Then on Friday, my doc saw me, did a little test and checked to see if the newly formed kid was in its proper place. Everything was normal! Hurray!! I could breathe easily!! For now at least…I still had to go through the first trimester safely. But going through that first hurdle was very scary indeed and I’m glad everything went fine.

That Saturday, I left for my cruise and wondered how to tell my parents. I had to fly from NYC to Miami and my parents were picking me up. Bad news was that when they picked me up from the airport, the airline lost my bag! So we had to wait there for the next flight out of JFK to see if my bag was on that plane. I got into Miami at 8 pm, but we ended up waiting until 12 midnight! In the meantime, we had dinner and of course, I was in a super-foul mood. So I just blurted “I have some news for you, you guys are going to be grandparents.” I basically scowled and shoved food in my mouth as my mom leapt out of her chair with joy. Everyone was happy (except me because my bag was still missing and I wouldn't get it until 12 pm the next day!) She immediately wanted to tell everyone (the entire maternal side of the family basically), but I said no, not until after the first trimester. She asked why? Apparently, in the Philippines, there is no such thing as waiting for a “safe time” to tell everyone. So I’m sure she told other folks already (and yes, I did find out that she told everyone anyway even though I told her not to). In the meantime, the hubs told his parents back in NJ.

When I got back home from the cruise, I was on my 6^th week (I think!). I basically just surfed the net for more info; bought a few books and read up on it; and kept this little secret. Now, that I’m 12 weeks today, I’d figure I share the news. My estimated due date is: March 2, 2006.

It’s still scary. Everyday I worry and pray about the safety and health of our little bunny (as I like to call “it”). I'm not even going to mention how scared I am that my life is going to change forever, but I just have to take it day by day. I still do my own thing, go out with friends, go see bands, etc. In fact, I don't even feel pregnant except when I go see the doc and see the little bunny via ultrasound. Of course in the meantime, our family and friends are already hounding us with questions. My next post will be all about the kinds of questions I’ve heard so far, and the crazy ideas my mom has planned for me. Ye gods!

Song of the Day:

Rock the Casbah by The Clash