“Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up and let me breathe.” –Babble, The Cure
“Just because you feel it, doesn’t mean it’s there.” –There There, Radiohead
How can you feel sad for something that you haven’t thought about in so long? Is that even possible? Something lost way back then that you’ve forgotten you’ve lost it until you’re reminded of it and you start grieving all over again.
“There is nothing in this world, that I ever wanted more, than to never feel the breaking apart, my pictures of you.” Pictures of You, The Cure.
I came across some old pictures from junior high. Ridiculous hair. Ridiculous clothes. I was a nerd. Still am. But I can fake not looking like one. Pictures of me back then. I put them away.
Are you happy with your life? A friend wrote to me about a problem and said she envied my peaceful life. I do have a peaceful life. I shall not want. I’m taken care of in almost every sense I can think of –great marriage with a wonderful hubs, cute house, kick-ass job that I love that will be my career, generous parents, sweet in-laws, fabulous friends, everyone’s healthy, food, shelter, clothing. No drama really --unless you count that drama in the last 2 postings. I am happy.
The hubs and I will be celebrating our 3-year anniversary soon. Cool beans.
Yesterday was nice. Went to the Magnolia Bakery, got me some cupcakes, stopped by an indie bookshop and bought a book for myself and one for the hubs, strolled around a bit in this little park, then went to DJ class. Okay, class was hard yesterday, and it kept my mind off things which was great. We had to do “loops.” Loops are taking 2 of the same songs together and mixing them so you extend a break or intro, or phrase or whatever you want. So you have to cue in one record and keep going back and forth between them. Maddening. I gotta go practice today.
My stomach hurts. It’s always upset at some point in the week. At some point in the day. My doctor says I have IBS. Like Adrianna in The Sopranos but not the kind she has of course. There are many different forms. I’m supposed to go out tonight to practice DJ-ing and then have dinner with 3 girlfriends (one of whom will be moving away at the end of the month). But my stomach is really bothering me. I’m still debating.
I gave up red meat for a while. Haven’t had any for almost 2 weeks now. Fish and poultry. At least I still have my Popeye’s.
I wish I had a sister. An older sister. It sucks being responsible all the time.